Next weekend a girlfriend and I are trying our hand at tree trimming. Hopefully, we won’t end up on You Tube, missing limbs. This whole home project thing got me thinking of the good, the bad and the ugly of some of my home improvement projects.
Putting in a toilet. Yes, a two person job, but the only home project the D-Man and I have done together that came in UNDER the allotted time. New toilets come already put together and aside from the heavy lifting part, it is easier than figuring out why the DVR is recording every show that has the word “football” in the title. Watch one of the aforementioned You Tube videos and you will be on your way.
It is amazing I ever continued with home improvement and decorating since my first project didn’t quite work out as planned. I bought a book when I was in my pre-teens on decorating your room and one of the suggestions, was taking one wall and putting up silver reflective wallpaper. Since we were renting at the time, my mother put the kibosh on that idea. Not to be deterred, I bought some rolls of Reynolds wrap aluminum foil and proceeded to try to tape in to the wall. Unfortunately, I hit an electrical socket and the current hit the aluminum foil, sparked and set a portion of the foil on fire. I bet you never saw that one on HGTV!
I have often been asked what is the worst project I ever took on been. I don’t even have to think about it. It was putting a new epoxy floor in my garage. After my fire (check out some of the archived posts if you are new to the blog!), I decided my newly constructed garage needed a snazzy grey speckled epoxy floor. The materials were not cheap, but the D-Man gave the kit to me as a Valentine’s Day gift, so one morning when I wasn’t working, I went out to put down the sexiest garage floor ever.
It also came with a special rolling tool and a video and in the video, they stressed the epoxy dried fast so you only had a few minutes to get it rolled out.
They weren’t kidding. Luckily, they advised only mixing a portion at a time. Unfortunately, halfway, through, the hand dandy rolling tool broke. I desperately tried to fix it, as the stuff became as stiff as, well, you get picture. I ended up rolling on my hands and knees, but still had half the garage to finish and no tool.
I drove to the nearest hardware store, the tool in the back of the truck, covered in epoxy, my hair matted to my head, in torn shorts and a t-shirt, walked in the store and basically screamed, “Can someone help me?”
Several clerks came running over to see who this psycho babe was, and one of the first questions one of them asked was, “Did you buy the roller here?”
Remember Linda Blair in “The Exorcist”? Think of that person, only with a Venti Starbucks in her and you will get the idea of my reaction. I barely remember leaving the store, but I believe they gave me a new handy dandy paint rolling tool at no charge. The only good thing was the next time I went in there, with makeup and hair in place, no one recognized me. Or maybe most of them had quit, traumatized by EPOXY DEVIL WOMAN!
Had your own good, bad and ugly? Post some comments and here is hoping that 2015 is not just the Year of The Goat, but all good home projects!