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Puerta Backyarda and Los LivingRoom

3/26/2020

I saw something on Facebook that made me smile today. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I’m getting tired of Los Livingroom.

It was the only thing that made me smile today. I had thought we were making progress here in Los Angeles in staying ahead of this virus and then the numbers jumped up. I guess it was to be expected after the appalling videos from last weekend, showing folks crowding on to the beaches and hiking trails, playing pickup basketball in Venice.

I had thought California was being awesome. I based that on my view from my neighborhood. My neighborhood where the only groups of people I saw outside together were families walking their dogs. My neighborhood where when I take Kody on his walks, we all give each other plenty of space when we pass each other. My grocery store where when we line up to go in, we keep at least a cart’s distance between each other and try really hard not to get too close in the produce section.

That’s why it sickened me to see Californians being so stupid. We are supposed to be cool and smart and ahead of the trends. The rest of the country can continue to think this is going to go away in time for the Easter bunny to show up, but we should know better. We have been through riots, fires, floods and earthquakes. We could have gotten our shit together and showed the world how you beat adversity, but we failed.

So now we need to face the truth. Puerto Backyarda and Los Livingroom are where we need to plan on spending not just spring break, but our summer vacations. Face it, everything has been cancelled or postponed anyway, so where do you really need to go? The parks, the hiking trails, the beaches are all closed because we couldn’t do the right thing.

So let’s do the right thing now. STAY HOME! Stop going to play soccer, pickup basketball, touch football and meeting up with your favorite ten people to hike with. Put the family gathering with 25 people on hold. Stop hoarding toilet paper and packing into Costco and just get what you need for the week. Order what you can online and have it delivered to your house, including maybe a meal or two from your favorite restaurant.

Make a list of things you can do from your house that you always wanted to do. One of my neighbors is building planters for his front yard, while another neighbor is just pulling some weeds and trimming up plants for more curb appeal. There are books to read, movies to watch, languages to learn, recipes to try, closets to organize.

Let’s make Puerto Backyarda and Los Livingroom the trendy places to be. That’s the only way we are going to get ahead of this and we have to get ahead this. Our lives and the lives of the people we love are depending on it.

Thoughts From The Pandemic

3/20/2020

Eleven days ago I was flying home from a week long work conference in Baltimore that was followed by a fantastic trip for a long weekend in New York City. Three longtime friends I don’t see enough of, had flown out to join me. We had some great meals, saw two great Broadway shows and watched Lifetime movies while drinking wine and having some girl talk. I even managed to spend a wonderful morning shopping at Macy’s.
All that fun is in sharp contrast to the events that are going on in Los Angeles and the rest of the world. Every day has brought new restrictions and fears and it is now looking like we are all going to pretty much be home bound for at least a month.
Since I already work from home, this has not had the impact on my life that other people are experiencing. Loss of income, loss of jobs and in some cases, maybe even loss of entire businesses are the reality of dealing with an awful virus.
I expected I would handle it better than I have been. The gyms closing was an emotional hit for me, not to mention that the band won’t be doing any gigs in the foreseeable future. I pulled out some weights from the closet, the yoga mat from the garage and have found some descent workout videos.
But instead of starting on a list of projects or working on learning some new songs, I found myself obsessing the whole week about finding toilet paper on line. I felt strangely disconnected from everyone, even though the only change to my regular weekly routine was not driving the couple of miles to workout. I also found it hard to stay focused on work, something I don’t usually have an issue with.
I think it makes a difference when you choose to stay at home versus being told you have to stay at home. Adjusting to the new normal is taking more time than I would like.
Kody, on the other hand, thinks this is fantastic. From a dog’s point of view, not having your human leave your side is the best! He even has gotten extra walks as I try to make up for loss of gym time.
Taking my cue from him, I decided to look at some positives that might come out of this whole pandemic thing. Here are my top three:
The WFH Revolution
Traffic in Los Angeles sucks. There are so many great things to see and do, but the traffic makes doing a lot of those great things a pass. The last week, as more and more businesses have moved their workforce to working from home, traffic has been a breeze. Not to mention, a whole group of people are finding out how much easier work life balance is when you don’t have a commute. My hope is that businesses will see, that work can get done outside an office setting and traffic will never go entirely back to what it was.
More Attention on the Homeless Problem
The homeless problem is a struggle for a lot of urban cities. Sometimes it takes a major crisis for government and the general population to come up with innovative solutions. As we realize this virus could be spread so much faster by the folks who don’t have anywhere to hunker down, I have actually heard some attention being paid to how we can solve this issue. I am not expecting a miracle here, but even if we come up with some ideas that get a fourth of the people off the streets, it would be a huge win.
Gratitude Makes A Comeback
I have to admit, I was angry and appalled when I walked into my local grocery store last Saturday. I have never seen a supermarket in the United States look like that. Empty shelves everywhere. People on their cell phones calling each other to discuss what stores they could find eggs. We have always taken for granted that as long as you had the money, anything you want can be bought. This is no longer the case.
I have no doubt, this virus will end and we will get through this. It would be wonderful if we can remember that nothing is promised, times are not always plentiful and the people we love may not be with us forever. But when times are good, we need to enjoy them and be grateful for every moment.
Likes spending time in a fun city with friends.
I can tell you this. If I ever see a package of Charmin toilet paper again, I am not just going to squeeze it. I am going to hug it and never let it go!

The "Right" Way To Grieve

2/6/2020

My pets have given me so much love and joy over the years and I wouldn’t trade any of the time I had with them. But the part of being a pet mom that is heartbreaking, is saying goodbye when they come to the end of their time on earth.

Kato had battled digestive issues for eight years and this last year, I had watched it grow progressively worse. The medicine and the special diet was not doing the job and Kato started having more bad days than good. Three trips to the vet and no real improvements. I came home from a business trip near the end of January and he had a horrible night. The next morning he gave me what I call “the look.” Having had three other cats and three dogs, I have seen “the look” before. “The look” that says, “ I am done. I am ready for my pain to be over, I am ready to leave this earth.” With that, we made our final trip to the vet and I said goodbye to my first little boy.

Before Kato, I had always had girl animals. I had never really considered a male cat, but circumstances brought him to me and I learned almost immediately, that just like humans, boys and girls are born with different personalities. It is just in the DNA.

He was a “Mama’s boy.” He came to me when he was sick, needing affection or just plain looking for some attention. He never really took to the D-Man. He hated going to the vet, but loved the attention of the girls who worked in the office.

He grew up with dogs and loved Chelsea, the dog I had when I brought him home. When she left us and I got Samantha, Kato tolerated her, but was not overly attached to her. I think he looked at her and said, “She’s alright. But she’s no Chelsea.”

After we lost both his cat sister Kiara and Sami, we were alone for a while. Kato did not seem comfortable being without another sibling. When I brought Kody home, he seemed to really take to having a brother. For the first time, I was a “boy mom,” with my dynamic duo.

It is always difficult to say goodbye to the pets we love so much. I came home after it was done and threw away the litter in the litter box. I threw away his dishes, his scratching post, and his toys. I hung his little collar by the door.

Then I cleaned and did laundry. I was probably an hour into my chores when it occurred to me that this wasn’t the first time I cleaned when I was grieving.

A day after my father’s funeral, I went through his den. I threw out old magazines, I put some things aside that I wanted to keep. I boxed up his clothes to take to the Goodwill.

I remember my mother standing in the doorway and asking, “Why are you doing this now?”

“I don’t know,” I said. I didn’t know at the time, but I realized it made me feel better to bring some control and order to my broken heart.

After my mother died, I did the same thing. It was more out of necessity, having to clean out her entire home, but thinking about it, once again, it helped.

It occurred to me that a lot of people would think it is cold and unfeeling to get rid of things that should remind you of the person or pet you lost, but I find that packing things up and putting them out of sight, allows me to focus on happy memories. Staring at Kato’s empty dish or looking at a stack of my dad’s old magazines made me feel worse, not better. I did what was right for me.

Of course this was all going on right in the middle of the tragic helicopter crash that killed Kobe Bryant, his daughter and seven other people. Los Angeles was grieving, as was a lot of the country. People gathered at the Staples Center leaving notes, flowers and basketballs. Some people brought out Laker gear and wore Kobe’s jerseys. Folks got new tattoos and posted on social media. Some people grieved quietly, not even wanting to talk about it out loud.

The husband of one of the victim’s spoke with the morning news shows, expressing the fear he had of how he was going to manage his life without his wife and talking about their life together. The Bryant family silent. Two different reactions to the exact same tragedy.

As we go through our lives, we will all grieve. Not just losing someone we loved, but losing a job, losing a house, losing a marriage. We live in a society that tends to judge and talk a lot about the “right “way to do things.

So what is “right” way to grieve?

There is only one “right” way. Your way.

Now I think I have some cleaning to do.

Busting Some Holiday Stress

1/5/2020

Today officially marks the end of the holiday season, as the D-Man and I took down the tree and put all the boxes of Christmas decorations back on the top shelf in the garage. It was a wonderful season and of course one of my favorite events is always my annual Christmas Eve open house.

I love seeing the group that has been coming for over twenty years. The children have grown into adults and now bring their spouses, soon to be spouses and children of their own. Being together is wonderful, but entertaining around twenty folks in a 948 square foot house, can also be a stressful time. Cold winter nights mean my California family does not want to be outside, so that means not using the yard as the focal point.

Even having room for all the food, ice and other things needed for entertaining has always been a challenge. I have to admit, in past years, the day of has been a little crazy town and I felt it took away from me really enjoying everyone, which is the main reason for the season.

I don’t normally like to make big purchases right before Christmas for myself, but I did make two this year. I have to say, I have no buyer’s remorse and honestly, I am hoping the ease it brought to having a big event, will mean more entertaining this year, with big and small groups. One of my New Year’s goals is to spend more time with the people in my life I enjoy so much. Making it less stressful will hopefully make it so!

So here they are! The two entertaining stress busting items, both located in the garage:

CRAFTSMAN STORAGE CABINET:
Straight up, I hardly ever walk into Sears. But I was having my truck serviced and the Sears store in Pasadena is right across from the Toyota dealership, so I was killing some time. I saw this storage cabinet and it was half off, marked down to around 250.00. Better yet, it was a floor model, with a little dent on the bottom, so I talked the clerk into marking it down another 15%. The best part? I didn’t have to assemble it, which would have taken more time than I was willing to put in.
It has become a place to store all my spray paint colors, but is also now doubling as the pantry I have never had. The silverware I use for company, the paper plates, the extra water, soda, etc. now has a home! Accessing it all easily means no more stressing about, where the heck are those Solo cups? I now have one place to go and that was well worth the money spent!

GALANZ REFRIGERATOR:
I am a sucker for retro looking refrigerators. The one in my kitchen was way more than any human should ever pay for an appliance and being over ten years old, I have paid for two repairs that would have easily bought another regular refrigerator. But I just couldn’t let it go.

So when I started looking for an additional refrigerator for my garage that could hold more than just some drinks, this one caught my eye. When it went on sale at Home Depot, it was a done deal.

Having room for party ice, Christmas Eve desserts and all the food I needed for twenty people was a true Christmas miracle. Right now, it is the extra drink and ice holder, but the next time I entertain, I know it will be worth every penny.
So here is to spending some money on making your life easier and making the holidays happier! Sometimes it really is worth it!

A Holiday Season Of Fun

12/29/2019

I made an effort this year, to once again, enjoy the holiday season instead of making it one of stress and mania. Sitting with a glass of Beaujolais, watching the last football game of the regular season and enjoying my electric fireplace and Christmas lights, I feel like I have succeeded.

My holiday season of fun really started in February of this year, when the small company I work for was acquired by a larger international company. What once was the least amount of time off I have ever had since working full time, became the MOST amount of accrued time off. Not to mention offices that were going to be closed from Christmas Day thru January 1st. Adding on a few extra days and I suddenly was looking at two weeks off during the holiday season, something I haven’t had since joining the working world at age 16.

I decided that this year, was REALLY going to be fully dedicated to enjoying the holidays at a new level!

I started shopping and decorating before Thanksgiving. After a little bit of a slow start getting the house ready, I was pleased to feel I got it just right, not too much and not too little.

The first weekend of December, the D-Man and I took a trip to northern California to spend a wonderful weekend, just hanging out with good friends, enjoying watching some college football games in their den with good food, good wine and good times.
The next weekend, after a fun L.A. Lyon gig, the D-Man and I headed to the Catalina Jazz Club in Hollywood for a wonderful Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr. Christmas concert. I have loved the Fifth Dimension since I was seven years old and over the years, it has been a real pleasure to see the two lead singers live. They never disappoint and the music really got me ready for Christmas.

The next weekend was my official birthday weekend, starting with our annual trip to Magic Mountain to ride our favorite coasters. Despite the fact that the lines were increased due to most of the rides only running one car (WTH?), the D-Man and I managed to get in our favorites and spend some quality time laughing and talking in line.

Sunday was football day, then Monday, we saw a fantastic movie at my new favorite movie theatre, The Studio Movie Grill in Monrovia. “Bombshell” was more of the D-Man’s suggestion, but what a great choice! If you think you know Fox News, you need to see this film! If you are a woman, you need to see this film. I highly recommend it.

We followed that with BJ’s in Pasadena, where the Packers beat the Vikings! We got to watch it all and enjoy some great food and wine
.
Christmas Eve was my annual open house. All twenty of the usual suspects were there, along with a couple of newcomers and it was a great time as always, for me to see my California family.

Christmas Day was spent watching “Office Christmas Party” and “It’s A Wonderful Life”, two Christmas movies that are really at opposite sides of the spectrum, but still equally fun! Then spending a wonderful afternoon with the D-Man’s family.

The day after Christmas is all about ME! I spent most of the day using gift certificates and getting great stuff marked down, hitting Home Goods, Target, Floor and Decor, Bed Bath and Beyond, Kohl’s and Macy’s and coming home with a ton of great deals.

Two great gigs with L.A. Lyon on Friday and Saturday, and the Packers won their final game of the season!

Coming up? A great NYE evening with L.A. Lyon at the Glendora Continental. New Year’s Day, a bucket list item about to be checked off! Taking the D-Man to the Rose Bowl to see the Wisconsin Badgers beat (hopefully!) the Oregon Ducks!

It was not a month without stress. Kato the cat had an unexpected stay at the vet, but he is doing great now! Kody’s Santa picture was stressful to say the least, with a long wait time and multiple dogs to make him crazy. Cooking and cleaning and organizing a small house for a big event is Crazy Town. I took a really bad fall, slipping in the Home Goods parking lot during my after Christmas shopping excursion that messed up my already messed up knee, costing me some gym time. But overall, all good. So many blessings and so much to be grateful for.

Honestly, I didn’t realize just how great the holiday season was, until I started writing this. It really has been one of the best! Sometimes we forget just how great it is and focus on what didn’t go right. So take some time. Make of a list of all the things that were great during your holiday season. You might find this was one of your best too!

SKETCHY CREDIT LESSONS

10/14/2019

I don’t regret filing for bankruptcy. Yet, running up 80,000 in credit card debt for what amounted to a lot of fun and games isn’t something I am proud of. Working on try to get my finances back on track is something that I DO take pride in.

This is not to say it hasn’t been a bumpy road. Living within my means it not anything I am accustomed to doing. I calculated the other day that I have spent over half my life in a state of financial stress of some kind, wondering how I was going to make bills. Not exactly living your best life.
So lately, a combination of a real salary and finally getting my debt under control has meant that instead of tossing and turning about making my house payment, I can now toss and turn about earthquakes and world peace.

The only thing that still continues to haunt me is my credit score. This might be a Captain Obvious moment, but a bankruptcy really does a number on your credit score. I have been trying for almost two years to get a Home Equity Line of Credit to do an addition to my home. I finally got one recently, but not for the amount I needed. This addition is really me eating the elephant one bite at a time, but more on that at a later date.

During this HELOC quest, I did learn a lot about how you can increase your credit score. Some of these might sound a little sketchy. Your financial advisor may not give you these suggestions, but straight up, these work. Here are my top three:

SIZE MAY NOT MATTER, BUT WHEN YOU PAY DOES
Everyone knows if you don’t pay your credit card payments on time, it has a negative impact on your credit score, but the other important date you have to know, is what date does your credit card report your balances to the credit bureaus. This is important, because if you can pay it down before it reports or better yet, pay it off before it reports, you get an instance boost to your score. I did mention slightly sketchy, so what I did was kind of move the payments and balances around to match the reporting dates. Yes, a bit of a balancing act, but if you are trying to make a major purchase and need a little bump, this works. Credit Karma is a free website and although the scores they say you have are not 100% accurate, they are a great place to track when your credit cards report and also see how much credit you are currently using.

MORE CREDIT IS A GOOD THING
Yes, I the person who ran up more unsecured debt than what most people pay for a home, did write that sentence. There is, however, a big caveat. More credit is a good thing as long as you get it and don’t use it! What drives up your credit score is staying under 10% debt of all the unsecured credit you have available. So if you have only one credit card with a 1,000 credit line and you use 500 of it, you have used 50% of your available credit and your credit score will take a hit. Get three more credit cards with 1,000 credit lines, still keep the 500 balance and you are now using 12.5% of your available credit. Your score would soar with the same amount of debt. The trick is, one more time, keep the available credit available!
PERSONAL LOANS DO WORK CREDIT SCORE MIRACLES

Yes, personal loans show up on your credit report, but getting one to pay off unsecured credit card debt improves your credit score almost instantly. Lending Tree and Prosper are two I have used in the past. The interest rates are not fantastic, but they usually beat what you would pay on the credit card and overall, they are not overly difficult to get. One more tip from the “do what I say and not what I have done” gallery. The credit card debt you pay off, needs to stay paid off. The idea is not to run up the credit card you just got down to zero and have that AND a loan payment.
Of course, the best way to have a great credit score is to live within in your means, never have an emergency that requires going into debt and never buy anything you don’t really need. I am positive I am not going to manage doing all three of those things perfectly. That’s when a few sketchy tips can come in handy and hopefully, it will help you too.

The End Of Summer Trip To Del Mar

9/3/2019

The day after Labor Day is kind of like the day after Christmas for me. A kind of let down, the thought that summer is over, just like Christmas being over. Which is kind of illogical in Southern California, because really, in So Cal, summer isn’t really ever over. Except for a brief few months of rain and some cooler temperatures, we really do have summer all year long.
That being said, after a stress filled work week awhile back, I decided I needed a beach day. So I booked the day after Labor Day at the Del Mar Motel in Del Mar, California.

The D-Man is not a fan of the Del Mar Motel, so just like New York City, I decided to take a trip alone.
Full disclosure, there are reasons the D-Man does not like the Del Mar Motel. It has changed very little since I started visiting it over 20 years ago with my parents. The only significant change is they now have electronic key entrance, something that I think was added within the last five years. Other than that, the décor hasn’t changed. Some of the rooms recently got new air conditioners, but it is a far cry from central air. Although my room temperature was comfortable, it was not the quietest unit in the world.

The charm of the Del Mar Beach Motel, is it is literally the only motel in Del Mar with direct access to the beach. It is also very close to the Del Mar horse race track, which made it a great location for both my parents. My dad loved the races and my mom loved the beach, so we went every year after I moved to California. I wasn’t planning on going to the track this time around, which was another reason the D-Man wasn’t interested. His many years spent at various So Cal beaches growing up has somehow managed to not make him a fan of going in the ocean and getting sand in his swim trunks. Go figure. So I left Kody with him for some bro time and headed off Monday morning.

I had planned ahead, packing a beach chair and putting on my swimsuit and sunscreen, so when I arrived, I parked in the lot and headed straight to the beach. Check-in time isn’t until 300pm and unlike say, the Marriott Marquis, they aren’t known for having rooms ready hours early. Especially not on Labor Day Monday. But it really didn’t matter, since the motel is on the main beach. The public bathrooms are clean and I used the ice machine at the motel to fill the cooler I had stocked with some canned wine spritzers and snacks from Starbucks.

I took two long beach walks, did wave jumping and by the time my room was ready, I threw the suitcase in, spent another hour in the surf and then headed in for a shower.

The great thing about having the motel right on the beach, is no sand or wet suit in your car. Del Mar is a beautiful beach and even on a holiday, although there were a lot of people, it didn’t feel jammed. The other great thing, is once I parked the truck, I didn’t have to move it.

After getting myself ready for public consumption, I headed over to the The Poseidon Restaurant, which literally, is across the parking lot. I had not made a reservation, so I couldn’t get a table outside. Being alone and really looking for some quiet, I was fine with that. They sat me in what they called, “the upstairs”, which is three steps up and still has a fantastic ocean view. I started with a great glass of Cab and pistachio crusted brie, which was to die for. For the main course, I had a wonderful vegetable risotto. They even managed to find some crème de mint, an old school after dinner drink that my father loved, so I could finish the evening with one in his honor.

I sat on the back balcony of the motel and watched a gorgeous sunset. When I travel alone, I usually turn in early and try to get up early, just to be safe, which worked out well, because I was pretty beat from all the sun and water.

The next morning, I walked the half mile into the little downtown area and had a delicious breakfast at the Americana Café, which is located in the Stratford Square building. The building has a great history and you can read about it while you wait for your omelet, as they have the story on the tables.

I even found some great shirts at a beach store that had everything at 50% off. Overall, a really perfect trip.

The hardest part? Getting in my truck and leaving, but I comforted myself by deciding to make this a yearly Labor Day tradition. The only thing I might do different next year, is stay an extra day.

DRESSER LESSONS

7/17/2019

You are looking at the before pictures of what now has the honor of being my longest project EVER! I found this Art Deco dresser at a local Goodwill for $70.00. I love Art Deco pieces and I was in need of a dresser with more storage than the one I currently had, so I couldn't resist. I even managed to get it out of my truck solo, not an easy feat. But that was just the beginning of my issues with my little beauty.
I have stripped and refinished numerous pieces of furniture, but this was going to be different. Art Deco pieces commonly have wood veneer. The veneer on this piece was damaged and marked up, so I wanted to replace it. Wood veneer cannot be stripped using chemicals. It has to be chipped off. Piece by piece. Then new veneer has to be glued on, similar to wallpaper. This was all new territory for me, so I watched a You Tube video and it looked pretty easy. I anticipated a month or so and it would be in my office, ready to store clothes and jewelry.
Instead, this project took me over a year to complete and almost destroyed my love of DIY. So what happened?
Chipping off the veneer took a lot of work and a lot of time. I mean, A LOT of time. I had originally considered redoing the entire piece, but after spending three hours one Sunday and having one tenth of one side completed, that plan changed to taking off the veneer on just the two sides.
Speaking of changing my plans, after months of chipping veneer away, pasting veneer around a curved piece of furniture started to look pretty daunting. The D-Man said, “You have come this far, you might as well keep going.”
I am no quitter, so off to the woodworking store I went to buy veneer. The veneer was going to cost over 150.00. The guy helping me at the store wasn’t exactly optimistic about a first time user (me) being able to manage a big, curved tricky piece of furniture with a material I had never used. I suddenly had visions of Lucy and Ethel doing wallpaper on “I Love Lucy”. The almost $200.00 I was about to spend was also not making my Goodwill find look like a steal either.
“You know you can stain it. And did you know that you can add stain to the other veneer?” he told me.
No, that fact had not been shared in the only You Tube video I watched. Almost a solid year of peeling two sides, could have been alleviated.
My one-year- put- veneer- back- on plan, became a stain plan in the middle of the store.
I did want to try something different in my DIY life. Abandoning my original plan made me feel like a failure, but after thinking it about it a little more, I realized I had learned quite a bit and not just pertaining to DIY, but life in general. Here are my dresser lessons:

Sometimes you do have to accept your limitations. I love doing and learning new things, but having never glued veneer on anything in my life, doing it for the first time on a curved piece of furniture, was unrealistic. Especially when the whole idea of DIY is to save money on great pieces of furniture. Factoring in the cost of materials (and there would have been a lot of wasted materials!) I would have ended up spending more than I would have paid to buy it in an antique store.

Changing direction doesn’t mean you failed. No, I did not end up with an authentic Art Deco redo, but I still ended up with a great dresser.

Watch the video all the way to the end. I am not talking just about You Tube here. If I would have not rushed into starting something without a realistic and informed plan, I could have saved myself a lot of time and stress. The dresser had a wheel that needed fixing, something I had also never done before. I spent the good part of a Sunday afternoon, thinking through how I could fix it. The actual doing took a lot less time and it was a solid success. Plus, I still made my goal of learning a new skill and I have a functional and unique addition to my home office.

Check out the finished pictures on my Home Ideas page.

TIPS FOR TRAVELING ALONE

6/24/2019

I have been absent from this page for too long! A combination of a lot of business travel (5 trips in two months, lasting almost the full work week), L.A. Lyon gigs and some work around my house, it has been tough to find the time! Travel will be settling down next month, so hoping to get back to a more normal schedule. Also hoping to lose all the “travel eating weight” I have picked up! This summer I am going to get back on a full workout schedule and better food choices than I make when I am away from home.

It wasn’t all work travel. I did manage to sneak in another great weekend in New York City, one of my favorite cities to visit. Totally solo on this trip, after a rough start (four-hour flight delay), it turned out to be a lot of fun. The Tony Awards were live the Sunday night I was there. I got to see the winner of The Outstanding Actress in A Musical, Stephanie J Block, in “The Cher Show” on Broadway at the afternoon show, on the day she won the Tony! I also got to see a lot of folks walking to the awards when I stopped at the Rainbow Room for an after-show cocktail. Monday it rained and since Macy’s at Herald Square was just a few blocks away, I did some shopping. It also coincided with a big sale, so I got some great stuff at great prizes!

Even with my work trips, a lot of my travel is done solo, at least the flying, getting to the hotel and eating meals portion of my day. I recently came across a great link about how to stay safe as a woman traveling solo. It is at the end of the post.

Check it out for yourself or forward it to a woman in your life that might need it. While we are talking about being a solo woman traveler, I have three additional things that are critical from a convenience stand point that I have learned from my experiences and here they are:

A portable charger is an absolute necessity!
I have a RavPower portable charger I bought from Amazon for around $34.00. It is worth every penny! Trying to find working charging stations in airports has become a real treasure hunt. A four-hour flight delay and you could end up in a strange city with a dead phone and no way to even get an Uber. Plus, being able to have a working tablet on a six-hour flight is crucial to your sanity.

Carry a small purse
From a safety standpoint, you can manage a small purse a lot easier than a big one. Keeping it close to you to deter being robbed is difficult with a bag that holds your entire life. Speaking of carrying around your entire life, also not a good idea, especially if you are going to an urban setting. You also seem to fit in a little better and don’t have that, “I just got off the guided tour bus” look. The very first time I went to New York City, I noticed most women weren’t carrying a big bag. So just making that change, gave me more confidence to act like a New Yorker.

Bring zipper less dresses
This is one you don’t think about until you are in your hotel room, trying to get ready for dinner or an important business meeting and you realize you are going to have to walk downstairs to the concierge desk half naked. Try the dress on before you pack it and if you must ask a significant other to zip you up, it needs to stay home. I have gotten to the point where if I have to struggle to get it on in the dressing room, for whatever reason, it doesn’t get bought.

Traveling alone can be very empowering and a lot of fun, since you get to only consult YOU about you want to do. Make it convenient and safe and it can be a great experience.

https://www.today.com/money/tips-how-women-can-stay-safe-when-traveling-alone

Just The Girl In The Band

5/3/2019

Last week I was in Nashville for what turned out to be a good work trip. I learned a lot and got an opportunity to meet some great people from my new company.

It would have been even better, if I hadn’t had something on my mind. We had a gig coming up at a new place. A new place where they were supplying the sound equipment.

On paper, you would think that sounds like a dream. Not having to haul in heavy speakers and a mixing board is usually a dream. The problem is, since I am the one who has to do the sound (yes, while I am singing), doing it with equipment I have never seen before is usually a nightmare.

Let me describe the beginning of the night at one of our regular shows. I bring in the equipment, most times by myself, set it up and then when we start, I have one song to go out front and dial in a perfectly blended mix of instruments and voices.

Most nights it works. Over 20 years of doing it, you do get the hang of it. Which doesn’t make it any more fun. I love singing, not hauling stuff, but it has to be done.

So not having to haul in big heavy things is great. Having the band sound like crap because I can’t get the hang of something I haven’t seen before sucks.

So I approached my Saturday night like I approach most of life. Prepare for the worst and hope for something that isn’t a complete train wreck.

I started by still loading all my sound equipment into my truck. Why would I do that when the club told me they were providing sound equipment?

Let me first dispel some myths about running a band. You very rarely get all the information about the gig. You usually can’t find someone who knows how to turn on the stage lights, let alone run any sound equipment they provide. If they do give you a sound person, they typically show up fifteen minutes before start time, making you almost late to start. Then they spend the majority of the night at the bar while high pitched feedback rings in your ears. I understand JLo works really hard, but this isn’t the stuff she has to deal with.

But I digress.

I brought my own equipment, because it wouldn’t have surprised me if I walked in and the manager had said,” Sound equipment? Oh, we don’t supply that anymore. Last weekend’s band broke it. Didn’t they tell you?”

I got to the club early, with the loaded truck, took a deep breath and walked inside.

“Is the manager here?” I asked. This alone can be the question of the night, because if he or she is not, that means I will be playing my least favorite game, “Where is my check?” at 200 am.

“Yes he is. Aren’t you Lisa Lyon?”

I am a little stunned. “Yes, I am.”

“We watched your videos. Nice to have you this evening. Let me introduce you to your sound man for tonight. He will get you set up while I get the manager.”

A sound man? In the club? Early enough to get me “set up”? I was starting to feel a little faint.

A nice looking young man came over and introduced himself. “We have everything you need, including microphones, speakers and, oh, did you need an extension cord? Let me run and get one.”
I pinched myself. Hard. Nope, I was awake.

Except for a couple of cases, I didn’t have to bring anything in or set anything up. The rest of the guys arrived and my new favorite sound man did a real sound check 45 minutes before we had to start.
I went to change my clothes.

When I arrived back at the stage, my guitar player said, “The manager was looking for you.”
Of course he was. Someone is always looking for me. Expecting my bubble was about to burst, I asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Our dinner is ready.”

Now my hearing was obviously going. “What is ready?”

“Dinner. They have a table set up for us and they just brought out dinner. Did you know we were getting dinner?”

Of course I didn’t know we were getting dinner. I had just wolfed down a bag of chips while I was driving to the gig. Just to let you know, we almost never get free dinner. Even my bass player was shocked. “I feel like I just traveled back to 1976 when clubs respected musicians!” he said as he cut into a nice piece of chicken.

The rest of the night was like a dream for me. I got to sing. Just sing. Not worry about the feedback, or the drums not being loud enough or not being able to hear in my monitor. It was all taken care of. I didn’t worry about whether we would be coming back or not and all the other dozen things that go through my mind on an average night. I tried to enjoy being in that moment. For once, I really was, just the girl in the band.

And the end of the night? The check was ready and even made out for the right amount.
It was the perfect gig.

Which got me thinking about how much I had stressed about something that turned out way better than I could ever have imagined.

There is an upside to prepare for the worst and hope for something that isn’t a complete train wreck. You very rarely get caught unprepared. The other upside is when it does go right, the high you feel is that much greater.

But are those things worth stressing for a whole week and being distracted from living in the moment in Nashville? Maybe not. Balancing enjoying the moment and worrying about what is around the corner, is something I have struggled with my entire life. I am sure the struggle will continue.

But at least I finally had it. A night I let it all go and just enjoyed it. The best part? I did it once. I know I can do it again.