The traditional end of summer weekend wasn’t exactly what I had hoped for.  Except for a short barbeque, the D-Man, Kody and new kitten Aja spent most of the weekend inside, on the couch, watching basketball and horse racing.  The over 110 degree heat made even sitting out by the fire pit in the evening off the agenda.

It wasn’t surprising the summer of 2020 didn’t end as expected. “As expected” ended in March.  We roll into fall, where I would normally be anticipating the football season, but here we go, not knowing how long or what players will be in the game. 

Forget about doing live music gigs.  Even the Rose parade has been cancelled and every other holiday tradition, right up to Valentine’s Day of next year is kind of hanging in a closet of uncertainty, like my band wardrobe. Might be just as well I haven’t been out in public much.  I have only been able to have one mani-pedi and one hair appointment in six months.

There have been other disappointments and struggles for me this summer. Not as major as other people have faced.  I am still employed and everyone close to me is healthy.  I know others have had it a lot worse, but the constant stress of having to “mask up” and worry who you run into every time you leave the house has only added to my overall feeling of darkness.

In an effort to bring some joy into my life, I set out to adopt a kitten, looking to replace the void in our little family after losing Kato.  Even that was difficult, having more people looking for animals then available animals in the shelter.

Finally, I got the call I had been waiting for.  A beautiful two month old grey tabby was ready for me to adopt.  Her foster mother described her as high energy and a bit of a drama queen.  The smartest of the litter, a quick learner and affectionate, but very strong willed.  She sounded like a perfect combination.  She was named Apple, but I quickly renamed her Aja Blue, after my favorite Steely Dan album (Aja) and my favorite Steely Dan song (Deacon Blues).  The D-Man and I had been listening to a lot of Steely Dan this summer.

She has lived up to all the things her foster mother said about her. She spent the first week trying to show her 80 pound dog brother that she was ready to rumble until she finally realized he wasn’t going to fight her.  Instead Kody has gone in to tolerate mode, sometimes looking at me as if to say, “When is she going to stop being so crazy?”

Then about two weeks ago, I took her to be spayed. I took the day off from work and combined dropping her off and picking her up with having my electrical panel upgraded.  Maybe not the best combo in hindsight, since it was another hot day and there was no electricity.

I brought her home just as they were wrapping up and she was livid.  Livid that she had to ride in the car in a cage. Livid she woke up in pain and livid that she now had a cone on her head.  I made the mistake of trying to switch out the one they sent her home in with a softer one I had bought for her.  It didn’t fit and I couldn’t get the one she had been given back on.

So in the middle of having construction folks wrapping up, I had to get in the truck and drive her to the vet to have them put the cone back on.  Meaning another car trip that she was freaking out about.

I sat in the truck as they took her in, hot, stressed and wondering how in the heck I was going to get through two weeks with a kitten in a cone.  Two weeks?  I couldn’t imagine her wearing the damn thing for two minutes!  How was she going to eat and drink in that thing?  Would her cone head even be able to get into the fancy litter box with the small hole that I had bought for her?

The vet assistant who brought her out was wonderfully upbeat. “She did fine!” she told me. 

“So can she eat and drink in this thing?” I asked.  “I mean, do I have to take it off and try to get it back on again?”

“Oh no, kittens adjust.  Just leave it on for the two weeks. She will get used to it and do just fine.”

To say I was doubtful is an understatement.

Once I got her back home, she finally settled down and stopped trying to pull the cone off.  She even took a nap in it and sure enough, managed to eat and drink with it on.  Getting in the litter box, though noisy, barely phased her.

By the third day, she had her cone head walk down.  A little swagger with her big head swaying side to side, ready to face the world.  She quickly got  back to doing jumps, playing with toys and clearing the back of my office chair to land in the middle of my desk, all with a big plastic hat that should have thrown her balance way off.  This cone head existence had become her new normal.  She accepted it and moved on.  After all, there were wadded balls of paper to chase!

No 2020 wasn’t what we expected, any more than a kitten expects to wake up in a cone.  Livid to start, it takes less than a day to accept they have to wear something uncomfortable around their neck and move on.  They don’t spend a lot of time wishing for what was, because why do that when you can still play, eat and sleep on a comfortable couch or a sunny window? 
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It got me thinking.  We could all use a little bit of that cone head swagger now, couldn’t we?

Eleven days ago I was flying home from a week long work conference in Baltimore that was followed by a fantastic trip for a long weekend in New York City.  Three longtime friends I don’t see enough of, had flown out to join me. We had some great meals, saw two great Broadway shows and watched Lifetime movies while drinking wine and having some girl talk.  I even managed to spend a wonderful morning shopping at Macy’s.
All that fun is in sharp contrast to the events that are going on in Los Angeles and the rest of the world.  Every day has brought new restrictions and fears and it is now looking like we are all going to pretty much be home bound for at least a month.
Since I already work from home, this has not had the impact on my life that other people are experiencing.  Loss of income, loss of jobs and in some cases, maybe even loss of entire businesses are the reality of dealing with an awful virus.
I expected I would handle it better than I have been.  The gyms closing was an emotional hit for me, not to mention that the band won’t be doing any gigs in the foreseeable future.  I pulled out some weights from the closet, the yoga mat from the garage and have found some descent workout videos. 
But instead of starting on a list of projects or working on learning some new songs, I found myself obsessing the whole week about finding toilet paper on line.  I felt strangely disconnected from everyone, even though the only change to my regular weekly routine was not driving the couple of miles to workout.  I also found it hard to stay focused on work, something I don’t usually have an issue with.
I think it makes a difference when you choose to stay at home versus being told you have to stay at home.  Adjusting to the new normal is taking more time than I would like.
Kody, on the other hand, thinks this is fantastic.  From a dog’s point of view, not having your human leave your side is the best!  He even has gotten extra walks as I try to make up for loss of gym time.
Taking my cue from him, I decided to look at some positives that might come out of this whole pandemic thing.  Here are my top three:
The WFH Revolution
Traffic in Los Angeles sucks. There are so many great things to see and do, but the traffic makes doing a lot of those great things a pass.  The last week, as more and more businesses have moved their workforce to working from home, traffic has been a breeze.  Not to mention, a whole group of people are finding out how much easier work life balance is when you don’t have a commute. My hope is that businesses will see, that work can get done outside an office setting and traffic will never go entirely back to what it was.
More Attention on the Homeless Problem
The homeless problem is a struggle for a lot of urban cities.  Sometimes it takes a major crisis for government and the general population to come up with innovative solutions.  As we realize this virus could be spread so much faster by the folks who don’t have anywhere to hunker down, I have actually heard some attention being paid to how we can solve this issue.  I am not expecting a miracle here, but even if we come up with some ideas that get a fourth of the people off the streets, it would be a huge win.
Gratitude Makes A Comeback
I have to admit, I was angry and appalled when I walked into my local grocery store last Saturday.  I have never seen a supermarket in the United States look like that.  Empty shelves everywhere.  People on their cell phones calling each other to discuss what stores they could find eggs.  We have always taken for granted that as long as you had the money, anything you want can be bought.  This is no longer the case. 
I have no doubt, this virus will end and we will get through this.  It would be wonderful if we can remember that nothing is promised, times are not always plentiful and the people we love may not be with us forever. But when times are good, we need to enjoy them and be grateful for every moment.
Likes spending time in a fun city with friends.
I can tell you this.  If I ever see a package of Charmin toilet paper again, I am not just going to squeeze it.  I am going to hug it and never let it go!

I don’t regret filing for bankruptcy. Yet, running up 80,000 in credit card debt for what amounted to a lot of fun and games isn’t something I am proud of.  Working on try to get my finances back on track is something that I DO take pride in.

This is not to say it hasn’t been a bumpy road. Living within my means it not anything I am accustomed to doing.  I calculated the other day that I have spent over half my life in a state of financial stress of some kind, wondering how I was going to make bills.  Not exactly living your best life.
So lately, a combination of a real salary and finally getting my debt under control has meant that instead of tossing and turning about making my house payment, I can now toss and turn about earthquakes and world peace.

The only thing that still continues to haunt me is my credit score.  This might be a Captain Obvious moment, but a bankruptcy really does a number on your credit score.  I have been trying for almost two years to get a Home Equity Line of Credit to do an addition to my home.  I finally got one recently, but not for the amount I needed. This addition is really me eating the elephant one bite at a time, but more on that at a later date.
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During this HELOC quest, I did learn a lot about how you can increase your credit score.  Some of these might sound a little sketchy.  Your financial advisor may not give you these suggestions, but straight up, these work.  Here are my top three:

SIZE MAY NOT MATTER, BUT WHEN YOU PAY DOES
Everyone knows if you don’t pay your credit card payments on time, it has a negative impact on your credit score, but the other important date you have to know, is what date does your credit card report your balances to the credit bureaus.  This is important, because if you can pay it down before it reports or better yet, pay it off before it reports, you get an instance boost to your score. I did mention slightly sketchy, so what I did was kind of move the payments and balances around to match the reporting dates.  Yes, a bit of a balancing act, but if you are trying to make a major purchase and need a little bump, this works.  Credit Karma is a free website and although the scores they say you have are not 100% accurate, they are a great place to track when your credit cards report and also see how much credit you are currently using.

MORE CREDIT IS A GOOD THING
Yes, I the person who ran up more unsecured debt than what most people pay for a home, did write that sentence.  There is, however, a big caveat.  More credit is a good thing as long as you get it and don’t use it!  What drives up your credit score is staying under 10% debt of all the unsecured credit you have available. So if you have only one credit card with a 1,000 credit line and you use 500 of it, you have used 50% of your available credit and your credit score will take a hit.  Get three more credit cards with 1,000 credit lines, still keep the 500 balance and you are now using 12.5% of your available credit.  Your score would soar with the same amount of debt.  The trick is, one more time, keep the available credit available!
PERSONAL LOANS DO WORK CREDIT SCORE MIRACLES

Yes, personal loans show up on your credit report, but getting one to pay off unsecured credit card debt improves your credit score almost instantly.  Lending Tree and Prosper are two I have used in the past.  The interest rates are not fantastic, but they usually beat what you would pay on the credit card and overall, they are not overly difficult to get. One more tip from the “do what I say and not what I have done” gallery.  The credit card debt you pay off, needs to stay paid off.  The idea is not to run up the credit card you just got down to zero and have that AND a loan payment. 
Of course, the best way to have a great credit score is to live within in your means, never have an emergency that requires going into debt and never buy anything you don’t really need.  I am positive I am not going to manage doing all three of those things perfectly.  That’s when a few sketchy tips can come in handy and hopefully, it will help you too.