So Monday was Labor Day, and I labored, cleaning a house that has not had a thorough one in some time.
But while I was cleaning, I was also doing some thinking.  About how my career has progressed, but mostly about a conversation I had with a friend last week.  His current position, with a soul crushing commute, is really getting him down.  He is considering going part time, or worse yet, quitting without another job lined up.  His comment to me was,  ”Money isn’t everything!”
No money isn’t everything.  Until you don’t have it. A roof over your head, a car, food, air conditioning.  Where do these things come from? Wait for it…….MONEY!
Now you know I am all about being happy.  But there is a difference between temporary euphoria and real, long term happiness. Temporary happy can sometimes mean long term-didn’t-watch-the- video-all –the- way-through –life- long- miserable.  Remember, I am an expert at this.  I was crowned the Queen of Living Beyond Her Means, after trading long term financial security for the latest sale at Macy’s!
So before you decide to “retire early”, go part time instead of working full time, quit a job without another position lined up or bail on something that might lead to something else, look at why sometimes being temporarily miserable in your working life can lead to the promised land in the future!
SOCIAL SECURITY:  
Yes, it is easy to say, Social security won’t be there when I retire!”  The reality is, chances are, it might be. The amount you get is based on the 30 years of your top earnings.  Working part time during the years you could be making a lot more money, means you are cutting what you can collect in retirement. Not working at all? Retiring early, without a lot of money in the bank?  Really not in your best interest.  What does that mean?  The expression “make hay while the sun is shining” is not just about farming. 
 TEMPORARY CUT FOR MORE MONEY IN THE LONG RUN
I never advise being miserable, but sometimes, to get to something better, you do have to have a little misery time.  I decided I was totally sick of managing people. I wanted to work in a more consultant capacity, on the vendor side of life.  To get there, I took a sizeable pay cut.  Not only that, I signed up for the aforementioned soul crushing commute.
Where am I two and a half years later?  Working from home and making more a year than I ever had.  Easy? Not at all.  The road to get to where I wanted to be meant I had to navigate some rocky terrain, but I saw the prize at the end.  A year of misery in exchange for getting what I was looking for was worth it.   
PART TIME OR NEW JOB?
So the job is making you crazy and the commute is horrible.  Is part time really going to solve that?  Making less money and setting yourself up for financial decline, while still being in something that makes you want to jump out your office window isn’t logical when you say it out loud.
It is rare to see an increase over five percent at a current job, but find a new position at ten or even a fifteen percent increase?  Closer to home? Kiss the stress, the gas bills and the nightmares goodbye and keep yourself on track financially.
Because after all, who are you working for?  YOU!  There is a reason why I list myself on Facebook as “SELF EMPLOYED”.
I may work for someone else’s company! But in reality.  I work for myself.  You should too!

​I will not be attending Wiggle Waggle this year. 

For those of you who are not familiar with what Wiggle Waggle is, it is the yearly fund raising walk for the Pasadena Humane Society that I have attended for several years.  It is held at the Rose Bowl and I have always enjoyed bringing my dog and seeing every type of dog imaginable, while taking a nice stroll on a Sunday morning around one of Pasadena’s most well-known landmarks.

My last two dogs, before Kody (Chelsea and Samantha) both came from the Pasadena Humane Society.  I have taken dog training classes there and I think it is one of the nicest animal shelters I have ever seen.  My support of the PHS has not changed. What has changed is my love for attending the actual event. 

I had an epiphany this week and that was, if I were to attend this year, I would have to go alone.  No dog to walk with me.  Just me. Why?  Because Kody would be miserable if he came with me.

 I had planned to drag him down there, telling myself he would be fine when he got there, which is what I did last year.
He wasn’t.  We weren’t even out of the parking lot before Kody broke away from the D-Man and tackled a dog behind him to the ground.  Luckily, the dog surrendered and the only thing hurt was the other dog’s pride, but I realized at that moment, that his issues with other dogs was very real.  After that experience, I did what I always do when an obstacle to what I want presents itself.  Put together a plan and set a goal.  Kody would be darn ready to go see hundreds of dogs and LOVE IT by Wiggle Waggle 2017!

I proceeded to get help from a wonderful place called The Zen Dog.  They have currently been getting a lot of press because Lena Dunham had to surrender one of her dogs to them.  Matt, the owner, did home training with us.   Kody continues to visit The Zen Dog for play dates and some boarding time. But Matt had told me from the beginning, it was a process and he might never be the life of any dog parties in the future.   I held steadfast.  He would be ready for Wiggle Waggle 2017!

After being pulled to the ground and tearing up my leg two different times while walking him and having him see another dog, I took another class.  Reactive Rover at the PHS.  This was more about changing how I reacted to him, while we continued to work on his issues at The Zen Dog.

I have seen progress.  He can see another dog across the street and not lose his mind.  When we do pass another dog close to us, he still reacts, but recovers from the episode almost immediately, instead of me ending up with massive cuts and bruises.  When he goes for play dates at The Zen Dog, they have several dogs he can be near, instead of just one or two.  But is he ready for Wiggle Waggle 2017?  Not by a long shot.  I have come to the realization that he may never be attending Wiggle Waggle.  An instructor at PHS compared being a dog afraid of other dogs to a human being afraid of snakes.  If you were afraid of snakes and someone put you in a room with a hundred snakes and said, “It’s ok.  They won’t bite you.” Would that make you less afraid of snakes?

Wiggle Waggle, to Kody, is a room full of snakes.

From the day I brought him home, he stared at me like I was the most beautiful human he had ever laid eyes.  He loves watching HGTV and “Nashville” all curled up on the couch with me.  Or maybe he just pretends and would really rather watch ESPN, but he never lets on.  If I get frustrated with a work meeting, angry at my computer or upset at the Packers, he runs into the room and puts his paw on me until I cuddle him and tell him I am fine.  He lets me brush his teeth with a toothbrush. He dutifully follows me to my room every night, even though he would rather sleep in the living room, because I would rather he sleep closer to me.  His love for me is eternal.

We spend a lot of time teaching our dogs things. Sit, stay, lay down, come.  But they teach us many things too. I had hopes for him, things I wanted him to be, that he will never be.   He is Kody, a dog who is far from perfect. Yet, he still manages to be a tolerant, loving brother to a crabby cat named Kato and can stay in the house for twelve hours without any damage or bathroom accidents.

We have the same hopes and dreams for the humans in our lives.  We want our children to be football stars, rock stars and marry someone of the opposite sex, ready to produce two perfect grandchildren. We want our mates to be wildly romantic, wonderfully attentive and still make six figures.  We want our friends to be loyal and put our issues before their own lives.
Instead, our children get regular jobs, love someone we don’t approve of and pursue a life we never wanted for them.  Our mates forget to bring flowers on our birthday.  Our friends forget our birthday all together. But yet, when push comes to shove, our children love us, our mates and our friends stand by us.  When we really need them. When it really matters.
 Our dogs are not perfect.  The people in our lives are not perfect. 

That is what our dogs teach us.   They never expect us to live up to high expectations.  They love us for who we are, where we are, what we are. 
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We owe them the same.  Maybe we owe all the people in our lives, exactly the same.

It has been a long time since I took over a week off from band and work. Even a longer time when I took a week off from band, work and the internet.  No emails, no social media. 
So on the last week of July, I spent one week on a houseboat on Lake Shasta.  Occasionally, we had internet.  When we did, I scrambled to check emails and make sure no major disaster was brewing. (It wasn’t).  Texts came in only occasionally.  By the middle of the week, I noticed I was almost disappointed when we moved the boat and got some connectivity.  If I didn’t know about it, I didn’t have to fix it. Right?
My mornings were spent on solo Jet Ski rides, just taking in the scenery.  Me and my thoughts, like a water motorcycle rider on the lake of life.  Afternoons were spent swimming, kayaking or just hanging out with a book.  Evenings were a cocktail under the stars.
A houseboat trip had been on my bucket list.  Did it live up to my expectations? Yes. There were moments that were not fun. Sixteen people on a boat, three under the age of seven, and I know you can do the calculations.  But all in all, one of the best vacations I have ever had.
What really made it special, was I came home with some revelations.  Here are my top three vacation lessons.

I AM NOT IN AS GOOD OF SHAPE AS I WOULD LIKE TO BE
I could not get on the Jet Ski from the water.  I required getting on from the boat.    I plan on spending a lot more time on Jet Skis for the later part of my life and if I dump it, I need to be able to get back on it by myself.  I have modified my work outs to include things that will build more upper body strength.  Good bye Booty Barre class, hello Body Pump!

WHY NOT ME?
Could I live on a houseboat?  I discussed this very subject on the ride home with one of our friends who is experienced with this whole house boating thing.  He explained that some of the things I wasn’t digging (cold showers with no water pressure) could be fixed. (Bigger water tank).  It got me thinking.  Why not me?  Being an HGTV addict, I have spent many a half hour with Beach Front Bargain Hunters and Caribbean Life.  So why not me?  The life I have now, doesn’t necessarily have to be the last life I have.  After all, I went from being a Wisconsin factory girl to being a So Cal work at home Software Application Specialist.  Why not a beach front home in St Croix or a houseboat in Panama? 

WORK IS WORK
I have a new attitude toward work.  Work is work. Work is not my life.  My life is the things I love to do and the people I love doing them with.   Sometimes that is my work, but when it isn’t, getting tied up in knots about it, is ridiculous.  Office politics, worrying about decisions my company makes that I can’t control?  In the immortal words of one of my favorite bosses, “It’s not my table.”  Hanging on to bad feelings about a meeting I didn’t quite nail?  Counterproductive and just plain stupid.  My new motto? “Moving on.” Not to say I don’t learn from mistakes, but hanging on them?  Since my vacation, not happening anymore.
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VACATIONS ARE NECESSARY
Which brings me to the biggest lesson.  Vacations need to happen.  Not long weekends.  Not a day off here and there. REAL VACATION, cut off from your daily life!  I had been feeling burned out and unable to focus on things for months.  Why?  No real time off!  I have come home energized and ready to get back to work, projects and learning.  I just signed up for a Conversational Spanish class at a community college.  Time to get ready for living on that houseboat in Panama!

Happy Memorial Day.  Any Memorial Day I don’t burn down my garage is a good one and this one qualifies!
I have some additions to my outdoor space and have gone with a black and white, more mid-century modern theme.  As I write this, I am under my newly bought half price at JC Penny’s outdoor umbrella, working on my bought last year from Overstock, outdoor dining table.  More pictures to follow.

It was a double gig weekend and it will be back to corporate life tomorrow.  I like my split life, corporate world and girl in the band.  It wasn’t my original plan, but I can honestly say, I have gotten a lot farther in my day career because of all the skills I have learned from running a band.
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I like my corporate job right now. My job requires I give product demonstrations and trainings on a daily basis.  If you are afraid of talking to people, you wouldn’t make it in my world!  It really is a form of entertainment. Yet, when the time comes for me to look for another career change, I won’t be mentioning I am in a band.  This is from way back when I was a factory girl and some not very intelligent boss of mine, made a comment of, “Well, maybe you could get to work on time if you weren’t spending so much time on your band.”.  Which is sad, because some of my best work skills have been honed from being the girl in the band. Here are the top three:

BE COMFORTABLE IN ANY SITUATION: When you are in a cover band for any amount of time, you will do everything from high end hotels to biker bars.  You find out pretty quickly that people are people.  Most are cool, some are not.  Not matter what the venue, they just want to dance and have a good time.
In business, you can get dropped in a lot of different situations.  After all the years of different gigs,  I can say I feel just as comfortable giving a presentation to the CEO of a company as I am talking to the front line staff about what their day to day struggles are.

KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE:  This is key to any presentation, training or even a conversation!  I am amazed by how executives from numerous companies I have worked for, don’t think about this key point.  Just because YOU think they should be all over your great idea, doesn’t make it so.  Over the years we have played a lot of songs that we don’t like, but the audience we are playing them for, love them! The same goes in business.  I wouldn’t give a high level view of a product I am demonstrating to a group that needs to use it a specific way every day, any more than I would put “Poker Face” in a set for a client who tells me they hate Lady Gaga!

THE SHOW MUST GO ON:  This is a big one.  The greatest lesson I have learned from being a performer, is you do the show.  NO MATTER WHAT!  Tired? Had to have your dog put down yesterday?  Just broke up with your significant other?  NOT THE PROBLEM OF YOUR AUDIENCE!  They came to have a good time and they expect you to deliver.  Suck it up buttercup and give them your best.  I can’t even begin to count the amount of times I didn’t “feel it,” when having to do a show.  The same holds true in my corporate life.  Giving a training on a Monday morning at 700am should be as informative and enthusiastic as one on Tuesday at 100pm.  Not your customer’s fault you don’t like getting up early on Mondays.  Fake it until you make it is a great motto more people should adapt.

So what about you?  You might not be the girl in the band, but you have been a parent, a child, a sibling, a significant other!  Take those “life experiences” and apply them to other areas of your life.  Open the boxes and let everything you have spill into all parts of your life!  You earned.  Use it